Faith Hope & Revelations
by Rachby
Summary: Faith wakes up from her coma and wants to get revenge on Buffy. But she quickly realizes the world has changed. She reads a stack of 8 letters that Buffy has been leaving her over the past 8 months and realizes not only Buffy's feelings for her, but her own feelings for Buffy. Is there hope for Faith? Buffy/Faith. Please review! FUFFY.
1. Chapter 1

**Faith, Hope & Revelations**

_A/N: This is like 1 millionth Fuffy fic (not really, but I've written a shitload of them). BUT. This one is my favorite so far. It takes place mid season 4 and will replace "This Years Girl" and so on and so forth. Any changed backstories and stuff will be explained in the fic. Enjoy! AND PLEASE REVIEW! :)_

Chapter 1

_"By faith we began, by hope we continue, and by revelations we shall obtain the whole." _  
_-Martin Luther_

Buffy stood in front of the door but hesitated on whether or not to open it. She looked down at the envelope in her hand and wondered what good it was doing anyone by Buffy coming here. No one knew about her monthly visits. She hadn't even written about it in her diary. The only proof she'd been here at all were the past seven envelopes still unsealed, laying in the bottom drawer of the nightstand beside Faith's bed.

"Please let there be change," Buffy said to no one, "Please..."

It took a while but she finally went inside the room. Everytime she came she was hopeful that there had a been some change. But having been let down so many times before her hope had dwindled. Faith was still in a coma. She was unresponsive to anything Buffy said, and it was almost unbearable to see someone who had once been so fully of energy, nearly devoid of life. What hurt the very most was knowing that Buffy had caused it.

The hospital room floor was filthy. They'd stuck Faith in an abandoned room in the basement of the hospital and there were dirt and old crunchy leaves in the floor. The walls were a dark grey stone, and the floor an uneven slab of concrete. It was an empty, depressing room and besides the bed, the end table, and the machines monitoring the slayer's heart-rate and vitals, there was nothing else in it. Faith was monitored by a nurse that supposedly checked the girl everyday, but Buffy had never saw the woman. When she visited, she was always alone. The slayer wanted to believe that she wasn't the brunette's only visitor, but she knew it was true. Besides her and the mayor, Faith had no one else. And the mayor was worm food. Worm flavored worm food.

"Hey," Buffy said, her voice small, "Brought you another letter. I'll just.. put it with the rest." She placed the envelope with the others, and then she approached the bed.

Faith was pale and her lips were drained of color. Buffy took her hand, which lay on the simple hospital sheets, and stroked the slayer's knuckles with her thumb.

"I hate you being here," she said, "I hate it so much." She leaned over the bed, and with her other hand, she brushed some of Faith's hair away from her face. She tried to smile at her, but she felt tears forming in her eyes. She brushed them away with her fingertips. "If you would just wake up.." She shook her head. Visiting this room always choked her up. Seeing Faith like that made her feel sick, and useless. There was nothing she could do for her and it tore her apart.

Buffy let go of Faith's hand and went to leave, deciding at the last minute to turn around and place a kiss on Faith's forehead.


	2. Chapter 2

**Faith Hope & Revelations**

Chapter 2

Faith had reoccurring nightmares that all contained Buffy.

In one Buffy and Faith would make a bed, pulling bright white sheets over a mattress. They would say cryptic things to one another and then Faith would bend over the bed and blood would drip on the sheets. She'd feel the knife inside of her again and Buffy's face would darken. The blonde slayer would back up and stare at the weapon sticking out of the brunette's abdomen.

In another dream, Faith would be having a picnic with the mayor. He would give Faith a sandwich and promise her nothing would ruin their perfect day. Not even the rain. He would play with a snack that crawled over the picnic blanket they sat on. And then Buffy would appear, stab him with Faith's knife, instantly killing him. Then, with that same dark face, she would come after Faith. Faith would run, tripping over anything and everything in her path, eventually falling into an open grave. Buffy would jump in too, holding the knife out. And she would say, "I'm sorry."

All Faith had were nightmares. Until now. In her dream she was sitting on a park bench, maybe in Sunnydale, maybe somewhere she'd never been before. The sun was shining and there were people walking in front of her, not paying her any mind. She touched her stomach and fely the sticky blood of the open wound under her shirt. But it didn't hurt. And then there was Buffy. Her hands were empty. She walked up to the park bench, and stood just looking at Faith. The dark look was gone. She was smiling. She said, "Faith. I forgive you."

Faith LeHane had been in a coma for eight months. For eight months she'd lay in a hospital bed asleep. But now she was awake. Her eyelids fluttered open, and she wiggled her fingers. She had no idea where she was. She sat up, felt the pool of wires on her chest, and an I.V in her arm. Carefully, she folded her fingers around the cords and pulled them out. The one on her wrist stung and she winced and touched it gingerly. Slowly, her thoughts sorted themselves. Buffy, she thought. Where was Buffy? And graduation. She had to get to graduation. And the mayor. The mayor would be waiting for her. She sucked in a breath and slid out of the bed. But her legs weren't ready and the crumpled beneath her. She landed hard on the cold, dirty stone floor. There was no denying it- Faith was incredibly weak. She was a slayer, but after spending a long time in a coma, even a slayer felt the loss. Her body was tired, even though it had been asleep for a very long time. She wasn't ready to go anywhere.

"Dammit," Faith hissed, her voice unused and scratchy. She groaned and rubbed her thighs with her hands. How was she supposed to fight the other slayer if her body wouldn't even allow her to stand up? She didn't know how long she'd been asleep, just that it had been long enough to wear her down. She leaned back against one of the legs of the bed and felt overwhelmed. It was Buffy who had done this to her. It was Buffy who had rammed Faith's knife into Faith's stomach and subsequently put her into a coma. And it wasn't fair.

Faith reached up, took a hold of the nightstand and hoisted herself. She was still shaky on her feet, but she could stand. She took another breath and looked around. She had to get out of her hospital gown. With one hand holding onto the bed for support, she yanked the top drawer open. It was absolutely empty. She sighed, and bent down, willing herself not to fall, and then she pulled the bottom drawer out. There were several letters laying in the drawer, but that was all. Faith lifted them out, and then lowered herself back into the floor. The envelopes were numbered. She tore the first one opened and read.

_"Faith,_  
_I had to. _  
_-Buffy"_

The slayer crumpled the paper in her fist and threw it into the corner of the room. The paper ball bounced off the wall and lay among the dirt and leaves already scattering the floor. She opened the second letter.

_"Graduation failed. The mayor is dead. Angel is gone. And you're asleep. Why Faith? Why would you do that to me? I was you friend. I still am. Maybe it's my weakness, but you said yourself. Human weakness never fades."_

Faith swallowed hard, felt the tears in her eyes run down her cheeks. The mayor was dead. Graduation was over. She let the paper flutter into her lap. What did that mean? What was left for her?

She opened the third letter.

_"I come here alone. I come here because I put you here and you're my responsibility. And I don't just mean I put you here because I stabbed you. I had to do that. For Angel. You don't understand that because you don't have that love for anyone. He was there for me. He loved me. And when you tried to kill him, killing you was my own option. You think it was easy for me to walk in there and confront you? It wasn't. But I had to do it. It was my fault you turned bad. I should have been there for you. I should have saved you before you gave yourself over to that darkness.. I feel it too Faith. All the time. If you had just came to me.."_

She opened the fourth letter.

_"I lay awake at night and I think about you. I patrol and I think about you. I hang out with Willow and Xander and Oz and I think about you. And I think about that knife. And I think about your face when I stabbed you with it. And I think about how you fell. We're slayers. We are meant to fight evil. Me going after you was my job. And saving Angel? That was part of it too. Isn't it funny that I'd end up trying to kill YOU to save a vampire? And that he would just leave me in the end anyway? And that you would live but lay in a coma? And that when I visit you, you would look so sweet and content, I wouldn't be able to convince myself that you would hate me. Or that you would want me dead. I would just look at your face, and your eyelids, and your pale lips, and think that you care about me. And that we're still fighting together, instead of each other."_

She opened the fifth letter.

_"I'm sorry. I spend my time in class thinking about how sorry I am. I ended up having Angel drink from me. He lived. I think you knew he would. You started working for the mayor.. Because you were trying to get to me. Didn't you? I know that now. I know you have it in you to be good. I know you are good."_

Faith's hands were shaking. She opened the sixth letter.

_"Things are changing. Oz is gone. I spend my time with Willow and Xander but I don't go home. I can't go home. I think about laying in my bed, and getting up to meet you in the graveyard to go paroling and it makes my stomach hurt. I have dreams that we're making a bed..And you bleed on the sheets and the knife is still in you. And I can't sleep Faith. I can't sleep because I dream about you. I'm sorry."_

She opened the seventh letter, the others all laying in her lap.

_"When I was little, I used to make plans weeks ahead of time. Sleepovers with my friends. And parties when I got older. But now I don't make plans at all. I can't be sure that I will be alive tomorrow. I could die fighting demons and vampires because that's my job. And you know who would be called if I died? No one. Because you're the active slayer. And you're here. If I die Faith, there is no one to protect us. No one to protect you. The line ends. You have to wake up. Please."_

There was only one more letter. She opened it slowly.

_"I come in here and I hold your hand and I pet your hair and I think about how I stabbed you.. And it pulls me apart. When I killed Angel, I felt the same way. I had to hurt him for the greater good. And he came back to me. He came back to me and he stayed until he realized that we couldn't have a future together. But we could Faith. We could be together. And slay together. Just wake up. Wake up Faith. I love you. Please."_

Faith folded the letters back up and put them back in their envelopes. She hoisted herself back up by holding onto the nightstand, and clutched the letters to her. She had to get out of the hospital before someone came in there and found her, and so she exited the room and headed out into the hallway. It was as filthy as the room she'd just came out of. There were old hospital beds parked along the walls. She used them as handles, as she made her way to emergency exit in front of her. She passed a few empty rooms, just like hers, and then a storage closet. Eager to find something to wear, she opened the closet and found stacked navy blue scrubs. She pulled her arms out of the hospital gown and let it fall to the floor. She paused and looked down at the scar on her stomach. She touched it with her fingertips, and flashed back to the last night she saw Buffy. She swallowed, felt her entire body ache with the memory. And then she dressed.

She had to find the other slayer. She had to find her now.


	3. Chapter 3

**Faith, Hope & Revelations**

Chapter 3

There was no where else to go but to Buffy. Faith walked slow, still weak, and headed towards Giles' apartment. She needed to see her. She needed to talk to her. She ran her hands through her hair, tried to get it to look a little less flat. She knew she must have looked bad. She felt bad. No one stopped to talk to her though, just let her pass.

The air was chilly. She wrapped her arms around herself and kept her head down. It was dark, and she actually felt scared for once. If a vampire came up on her, she was toast. There was no fighting in her condition. Her body didn't want to fully respond. And so she she just hoped. She hoped for safety. She hoped for a return of strength. And she hoped to find Buffy.

When she saw Giles' apartment, she felt a little bit of relief fade into her. She had no idea what she would tell any of them. Chances were, they would attack her, bound her. It didn't matter. She just had to see the other slayer.

Faith approached the window slowly and peeked into the lit room. They were all there and for a moment it gave her hope. Giles was holding a cup of tea and sipping on it slowly. Willow was sitting on the couch with Xander, and Buffy was.. Buffy was sitting on some guy's lap. He was blond, muscular, straight edge and obviously human. As the brunette slayer watched them, Buffy leaned up and kissed the guy on his lips, slowly, lovingly. Faith's heart dropped into her stomach. She backed up, unable to watch. She had the letters Buffy had written her tucked into the waist of her pants. She could feel them against her bare stomach, and reached down to feel the flat surface of them beneath her shirt. She walked back to the window, put her fingers on the windowsill, and peered in once more. And she listened.

"We have to get into the initiative to find out what we need to find out," Buffy told Giles. "And Riley is going to help out with that."

"It's the least I can do," Riley said.

Giles nodded, and stirred the lemon around in his tea. "Yes, yes. We must find out more about Adam. Any information we can find out will ultimately play towards our victory." He sipped the tea.

"I volunteer to stay here and keep an eye on the couch when you go," Xander offered.

Willow hit him on the arm playfully.

The phone rang, and Giles crossed the room and picked it up off it's cradle. "Hello? Yes. She is. Hold on." He held his hand over the speaker and said, "Buffy, it's for you."

The blonde slayer got off of Riley's lap and spoke into the phone, "Hello? Yes. This is her." Her eyebrows furrowed together and her face paled. "Okay." She nodded, though the other person couldn't see her. "Thank you." She placed the phone back on the hook and she looked at the room. They all returned her gaze with worry.

"What is it?" Giles asked her. "What's the matter?"

"It's Faith," Buffy said, her voice tiny, "She's awake."

Xander's mouth fell open and so did Willow's.

"Oh my God!" Willow said, "Where is she?"

"She left," Buffy replied in a daze. "She's gone. They don't know where she is."

"Well you'll find her!" Willow assured her. "And kick her ass! You can do it! We all know you can! Because... You know...you did last time!"

Riley looked absolutely confused. He looked back and forth from his girlfriend to Willow, to Xander, and then to Giles. "Who's Faith?"

"The other slayer," Giles provided. "She was called when Kendra died."

"Other slayer?" Riley returned, and stood up. "Kendra? What?"

"Kendra was called when Buffy died," Xander explained, "Real nice girl. Much more than I can say for Faith. Slut." He was in a daze for a minute and then he shook his head. "Anyways, Kendra died. Faith came. Buffy kicked her leather-pants-cladded-ass and she's been in a coma for like eight months."

"What!?" Riley looked at Buffy. "What? You died? Faith? Kendra? Other slayers?"

Buffy sighed. She didn't want to explain all this right now. She didn't want to explain any of it. She just wanted to see Faith. Where was she? Was she okay? Buffy got up, slid her coat onto her shoulders. "I've got to go patrol. Giles, please fill him in. Xan, Will, I'll see you guys later." She kissed Riley again, with her hand on his chest. "I have to go, okay? I'm sorry."

She left Giles' apartment a minute too late. Faith was already gone, moving along in the darkness, not knowing where to go, just knowing that she had to get away from there.

The blonde slayer stood in the driveway for a moment and let the news set in. Faith was awake. Faith was awake and somewhere in Sunnydale and Buffy needed to find her. She had to talk to her, to find out what state of mind she was in. And she had to find her before anyone else did.


	4. Chapter 4

**Faith, Hope & Revelations**

_A/N: Sorry it took me a bit to upload.. Kinda been obsessed with my other story "Faith Forever".. And with writing PWPs with my friend Buffy1987... BUT. I'm here now to work on this one. And I've got a few chapters for you guys. Lol. Like 10. AHAHAHAH. :) Please review, Darlings. :) And I'm sorry for any spelling errors or grammar mistakes.. I write everything on notepad.. Mwuah!_

Chapter 4

Faith was weak. She was extremely weak, and tired. Which was odd, really, considering she'd just had a really freaking long nap. The brunette shook her head. Of course Buffy had moved on. Why would she wait? Faith was nothing but a killer. She wasn't worth waiting.

The wind blew through the thin fabric Faith was wearing and she wrapped her arms around her tighter. She was so alone. She was cold and sad and alone. And tired. She had to find somewhere to crash, or she was going to just collapse in the street. She started running through options in her head. There was her old apartment.. But it had been eight months since she'd been there and she was sure it was occupied by now. Or if not, it was probably not safe to go that way right now. It was in the sketchy party of Sunnydale and Faith knew she wouldn't be able to handle anything evil if it approached her. It really bothered Faith that she had to cut out options because she was so weak.. But it was unavoidable. She started listing every other place she'd ever felt safe..

The mayor's office. That was no go. The mayor was dead. There was no point in going to the NEW mayor's office. That wouldn't make any sense. There was Sunny D high.. The group used to meet up in the library and it was quiet area where Faith could think. But. The entire high school was destroyed now. She sighed. Where else was there? It was so dark. She thought she could hear footsteps. Her brain was foggy with sleep again. She tried to flex her fists, but her body didn't want to react.

"Slayer," a voice hissed. "All alone. Weak. Tired."

Faith turned around. She was wobbly on her feet, but her reflexes were still much better than a human's in her condition. It was just a skinny male vamp. If she'd been in tip-top shape, she would have dusted him in no time. He was freshly risen, based on the dirt on the suit he was wearing. He'd probably been buried in it. He probably didn't even know his true power yet. If Faith had been Faith, she could have grabbed him, slammed him down, used some picked fence piece or some shit to have him slain right away. But Faith wasn't feeling very much like herself. She was dizzy. She'd overworked herself just by walking so far. She was thirsty too, probably dehydrated.

She licked her dry lips. "Fuck off," she said to him, "I don't have time to.."

"To become my snack?" the vamp snarled. "Because I don't think you have the strength to run, so I don't think you're gonna be able to anything but die." He smiled, his deformed face hidden partially by shadows, and took a step towards her.

Faith's heart started pounding. He was right. Her head was beginning to throb.. Her body was really unhappy with her. And now, because she was in the wrong place at the wrong time.. She was going to die. She took a deep breath. If she was gonna go down, she was gonna at least make an effort to survive. She started running down the long street in front of her. Her legs ached and her lungs were burning and basically, her entire fucking body was screaming, begging her to stop. But she couldn't. She looked back over her shoulder, saw the vamp start heading after her, just walking. He wasn't even worried about her getting away. He let her have a head start.

The slayer's eyes slid along the houses as she passed them. She was terrified. No way in Hell had she ever thought that she'd die at the hands of some measly vamp. He wasn't even a strong vamp. Just some stupid twink looking for a fast kill. And it was just Faith's luck to be the first victim he came upon..

"Don't run away," he called after her, "You're gonna miss the big finish!" The monster sped up, and got within about six feet of where the slayer was clumsily running. He could tell that she was weak. Barely even worth feeding on. But she WAS a slayer, and he knew the kinda fame he'd get if we was able to best her.

Suddenly Faith realized where she was.. The quaint two story homes, the nicely mowed lawns, the carefully pruned rosebushes.. Revello Drive. This what the street with Buffy's house on it. Joyce was somewhere inside of one of these houses, probably bakin' cookies or some shit. Just livin' her life, safe and sound knowin' her daughter was a slayer and she was datin' a nice normal boy and.. Faith clenched her fists this time for real, using all her energy to pump her legs a little harder, to run a little faster. She could see the Summers' home through the trees ahead of her. If she could just get there..

"You know what you're feeling?" the vampire asked her, close behind. "Adrenaline. I can smell it. And it's gonna run out soon and leave you wasted. And you know what I'm gonna do to you? I'm gonna grab you Slayer.. And I'm gonna sink my teeth into your neck. And I'm gonna suck you dry. Drain you."

Faith turned hard, onto the driveway in front of the two story American Craftsman style home. She could feel the vampire directly behind her. She headed up the driveway, her barefeet slamming against the pavement. The bottoms of her feet aching. The rough stone was tearing into the soft flesh there and Faith was leaving smears of blood on the Summers' driveway. She opened her mouth, started screaming, her voice husky from lack of use, "Help! Help me! Please! Somebody!"

She headed up onto the porch. She could feel the last of her adrenaline leaving her body. She was hurting so bad. She fell against the front door. Starting pounding hard, using her fists, slamming her knuckles against the thick wood. "Ms. Summers! Help me!"

"Okay, here's the part where you die," the vampire said, and lept onto the porch. "And the part where I get fame and eternal glory." He grabbed the brunette slayer and yanked her back against him. She tried to push him away but he was too strong and she was too weak. He smiled at her, snarled, his mouth practically dripping with hunger. And then, he growled, threw his head into her neck and bit her hard, punctured the warm skin that stretched between her throat and her shoulder. She felt him sucking, draining her slowly, but powerfully. She cried out. His hands held her tightly and she could do nothing but let him drink..


	5. Chapter 5

**Faith, Hope & Revelations**

Chapter 5

Joyce Summers was completely aware of what was going on in Sunnydale. It was a terrible place, especially at night. And it would have been an even worse place had it not been for her daughter, Buffy Summers.

Buffy was a wonderful daughter. She'd gotten herself involved in some bad dealings, sure, but Joyce was sure that those interactions had just been the result of being a slayer. She couldn't control her destiny, Joyce knew that, and as much as worried about her, she was incredibly proud of her daughter also. She'd gone through a lot in the last few years, and everyone in Sunnydale should have been grateful for that. They should have still been terrified when they heard someone screaming on their front porch, banging on their front door, at ten at night.. But they should have been grateful too. That they were alive to hear it.

Joyce was sitting in the living room reading a romance novel when she heard the screams. It fell out of her hands and hit the carpet. She couldn't, as much as she tried, get used to that. If Buffy had been there, she wouldn't have worried so much. Honesltly, she hated that she had to rely so much on her daughter for safety. But then, she knew that that was what Buffy was there for. To be superhero. It was just that.. She hadn't came around in a while. Her personal letters were piling up on the counter in the kitchen. And even though Joyce knew it was because she was busy with school and her new boyfriend.. She missed her. And knew that if she wanted the banging and screaming to stop, she'd have to do something about it by herself.

She got up, went to the kitchen, and reached around in the cupboard for her thick, wrought iron skillet. It was heavy, but that was a good thing. She tip-toed to the front door with it held over her head, and she tried to peak through the glass window on the door. But, of course, the light inside the house made it hard to see anything. So she just took a deep breath and yanked the door open hard. And gasped.

Standing just on the edge of her porch was a man, presumably a vampire or something, his lips to a girl's neck, blood running down the front of her dress.

"Stop that!" Joyce yelled, and she moved fast. She lifted the skillet a little higher and brought it down hard on the guy's head, barely missing the girl's skull.

Stunned, the vampire dropped the girl and stumbled into the yard, falling for a minute. Joyce too the minute to grab the girl's arm. She knew that vampires couldn't come inside without being invited, so she knew she just had to get the girl inside to ensure her safety. She laid the skillet on the porch and used all her strength to yank the girl into the foyer of ther house. She was bleeding a lot, Joyce knew that, but she had to deal with that in a second. She made sure they were both inside the boundary of the house and she said, "If you're going to go around eating people, do it somewhere else! My daughter is a slayer, and if she was here, you wouldn't be so lucky, buddy!"

The vampire got back up, rubbing the front of his skull. That bitch had hurt him. He lept at her, forgetting the no-invitation-no-entracnce rule, and his body collided with the forcefield. He crumpled on the porch. "Bitch!" he growled.

Joyce frowned and slammed the door in his face and locked it. It was better to be safe than sorry. Then she turned to the girl laying at her feet, her face against the floor. She knelt beside her and patted her on the shoulder, "Just hold on a minute, Honey. I'm gonna get something to stop that bleeding."

She hurried to the kitchen and got a dishcloth from the drawer. She brought it back and held it to the girl's throat. It was a deep gash. Teeth marks. She put pressure on it. She wasn't really well versed in caring for girls that weren't her daughter. And she really didn't know why the girl had been on her front porch in the first place.. She'd even heard the girl call her name. Gently, Joyce turned the girl a bit, so she could see her face. And then she gasped. It was her. The other slayer. Faith Lehane. She was barely conscious.. But she'd still tried to kill Buffy... She didn't know what to do..

"It's you.." Buffy's mom said, in disbelief, "You're the one who tried to kill Buffy!" She shook her head. "And.. I should let you just bleed to death.. I really should." Joyce swallowed. "But I can't. Maybe that's because I'm stupid. But it's probably because I'm not like you.." She pressed the dishcloth.

"B-Buffy.." Faith managed. Her eyes fluttered, but she looked up at Joyce's face. She was talking to her sternly, worried, but Faith couldn't make out any words. She didn't blame the woman for being upset. Faith was.. Had been.. A killer.

"Buffy isn't here," Joyce said, "And you're not going to get her. I'm going to help you out. But then you're going. And you're going to leave all of us.. And.."

Faith's eyesight was slipping in and out of focus. Joyce's face looked scared.. Faith knew the only way to make her understand anything lay in the band of her pants. The seven letters she'd saved. She lifted her hand, weakly, and reached for the letters. She pulled at them, her grasp barely strong enough to get ahold of them.

Joyce watched Faith pull out a stack of letters. They were sticky with blood, from where some it had ran down her chest and soaked into them. But she handed them to Joyce anyways. "Buffy.." she managed again.

Joyce held the dishclothe with one hand and then looked at the letters with the other. The one on top had a letter "1" written on it. She pulled it out and opened it. It was Buffy's handwriting. "Faith," it said, "I had too." Joyce frowned. She looked down at the brunette and felt something close to compassion sink into her. The girl was dying, and she was just sitting there hating her. She lay the letters on the floor a moment, caught Faith's hand and held it to the dishcloth.

"Hold onto that," she told her. "C'mon, I'm gonna get you on the couch, clean that gash, bandage you up.. And get some water in you. You're not going to die." She slid her arms under Faith's shoulders and started dragging her into the living room. Faith could do barely nothing to help. She was doing her very best to stay conscious, but she knew that if she was so close to passing out...

Joyce managed to get her up onto the couch. Faith was light, not as light as Buffy, but still pretty light. But she was incredibly weak, and it was almost like pulling dead weight. She left Faith a minute and went around the house getting peroxide, antibiotic ointment, cotton-balls, a wet dishtowel, gauze, medical tape and a glass of water with a straw. She came back quickly, sat on the edge of the coffee table and helped Faith drink. She held her chin and helped the girl get her fill of water. And then she got some of the cleaning solution and poured it on the cotton ball. "This'll sting," she warned the girl. "Just.. Hold on." She wiped away the blood from the wound with the wet towel, and then started washing it with the peroxide. Faith winced, and moaned a little. It really hurt.

Joyce made fast work. She got the wound cleaned as best she could, and then she smeared it with ointment, covered it with gauze, and then taped it down with medical tape. Faith just laid there, completely unable to do anything but breathe and watch.

"You really came HERE," Joyce asked her, still shocked, "Even though you tried to kill Buffy? And you expected forgiveness? I should call the cops.. I really should.."

"No.." Faith said, her voice very small.

"I'm not going to though," Joyce shook her head. "Because I know that police never help in situations like that. And that monster may still be outside, and I'm not going to subject anyone to deal with him." She got the water and helped Faith drink again. "You're just lucky I came to the door when I did.. Because.." She shook her head. "If Buffy was here.."

Faith looked at her, trying to speak with her eyes, trying to tell Joyce to read the letters just by looking at her.

"You don't look like a killing machine," Joyce reasoned. "You honestly don't..." She stood up, sat the glass back on the coffee table and walked back to the foyer, suddenly remembering the letters. She sat in the chair by the couch and opened the second one. Her eyes scanned the words written in her daughter's handwriting. She looked back at Faith. She had closed her eyes, maybe trying to get some sleep. Joyce opened up each letter in turn, reading them quickly, between each one, catching herself looking at the other slayer unconscious on her couch. When she finished the last letter, she was crying, tears running down her cheeks. She got up, went to the closet and got out a blanket. She covered Faith with it, and then folded all the letters back up and laid them on the coffee table by the water.

She didn't know what to do. Her daughter was in love with the slayer that had tried to kill her.. And that dark slayer was laying on the couch, hurt and alone. Joyce knelt in front of Faith and pushed some hair out of her face. She wondered if she should call Buffy...


	6. Chapter 6

**Faith, Hope & Revelations**

Chapter 6

Buffy walked through the cemetery quickly, her mind jumbled with so many thoughts. She didn't really feel like fighting, but she needed some way to get out some tension. Faith was awake and Buffy had no idea where to go to find her. She jumped over head stones and searched the graveyard for something, anything to punch.

Spike was leaning against a tree, smoking. Buffy strolled up to him and slammed her fist into his face. He dropped his cigarette and fell back on his ass.

"What the HELL!?" he said, holding his jaw, "What the bloody FUCK!?" He got back up. "I'm fucking harmless, remember!?" He stared at Buffy, his eyes wide, completely confused.

"I'm sorry," Buffy said, her voice laced with acid, "Or, really. I'm not. I'm just.. I don't care. I need someone to beat up on and HELLO, there you are."

Spike backed up, held his hands up in front of him. "Listen Slayer, I don't wanna be your punching bag. I sure as hell wouldn't mind it if I could hit you back.. But right now. It's just not FAIR okay? Isn't that something you're AGAINST, anyway? Aren't you bloody aligned with good, or whatever?"

Buffy didn't have time for his yammering. She got up in his face and said, "Have you seen Faith?"

"Faith? As in have I seen the way of the lord or something? Because.. Bloody VAMPIRE remember?"

Buffy shook her head. "No. FAITH. She's a slayer. Taller than me. Brunette."

"Another slayer?" He looked kinda surprised. "Thought Dru killed the last one."

"Yeah she DID," Buffy said, "But if you'd stop being such an idiot, you'd remember that there is always ANOTHER one called when one dies. And that's Faith. Have you seen her?"

He shrugged. "Even if I did, wouldn't tell you. Don't work for you. Don't even like you really."

Buffy punched him again, not holding back any. It yanked his head back, twisted his neck hard. He lept back, tried to get away from the crazed slayer's fists.

"Damn Buffy! What the Hell is the matter with you! You know I can't fight back!"

Buffy was breathing hard. She could've punched him for hours. It felt good. "Just tell me if you've seen her or not."

"Fine," he pulled his leather coat up on his arms a bit, and stomped at the cigarette he'd dropped a moment ago. "Saw some dumb vamp run by. He said he'd just sunk his teeth into a slayer. Said he got a good drink of her. Didn't think he was tellin' the truth. I mean he was like this big," he held up his fingers and pinched them together. "And he was gettin' on my nerves. So I killed him."

"You killed him!" Buffy grabbed the lapels of Spike's coat. "You idiot! Now how am I supposed to find her! She could be laying somewhere. Dead even! GOD I HATE YOU."

"What," he said, "I get tired of not bein' able to fight. I gotta take what I can get!"

The slayer shook her head, absolutely frustrated beyond belief. "I should just kill you now," she said, "Because look at you! You're so useless you're killing your own kind just because you're bored!" She shoved her knee into his crotch and then let him fall into the grass, holding himself. "But I'm not going to," she told him, "Because that would be wrong." She turned on her heels and headed back the way she'd come.

Stupid Spike, she thought. He was good for NOTHING. What an idiot. She jumped and easily cleared the fence of the cemetary, and headed down the street to her house. Faith was laying somewhere bleeding, and hurt, and confused. Probably really, really confused. She stood on the street that her house was on and closed her eyes. She just had to hone in on her slayer abilities and if she tried hard enough.. She may be able track her. She took a deep breath.

"Lookin' for your friend," a voice said.

Buffy whipped around. There was a vampire standing in the middle of the street, smiling at her.

"What do you know about it?" she shot back.

"Just that I watched my friend Greg chase her from here..." He pointed at his feet, "To there," he pointed down the street towards Buffy's house. "And then he got a snack. Probably killed her quickly. Her body's probably still on that front porch over there. But it's probably completely empty. So too bad."

Buffy narrowed her eyes. She was unbelievably mad. "YOUR friend is dead," she said. "Spike, you know him? Bleach blonde dumbass? He killed him."

"Yeah? Well that's too bad. Greg was weak." He stepped up to Buffy, bared his fangs. "But I'm not." He growled a deep, hungry growl. "Let's rumble, Slayer."

"Gladly," she returned, and she went at him.

They rolled around for a few minutes. He landed one punch in her stomach, and then the fight was all hers. She had him pinned on the grass in front of the house four down from hers. She grabbed at the picket fence in front of her and yanked one of the pieces of wood free from the line of them. And then she shoved it down hard into his chest. He dusted beneath her and she dropped on the grass, filling the space he'd just been in. She got up, dusted him off her pants and started running down the street to her house.

There were no bodies on her porch. There was no one there but her. She walked up slower, trying to figure out a way to tell her mom why she was there. She needed her to know that Faith was awake.. Just in case she showed up.. And was still.. Bad. Buffy stood on the top step leading up onto the porch and saw the drops of blood staining the floor. She felt her heart drop into her stomach, and she had to fight to keep from crying out of pure desperation and worry. She stepped over the stain and walked up to the door. She knocked hard.

"Mom! It's Buffy! Lemme in, please! I need to talk to you!"


	7. Chapter 7

**Faith, Hope, Revelations**

Chapter 7

Joyce gets up from the couch and heads into the foyer for the second time that evening. It was Buffy at the door. Joyce looked back at Faith, who was still asleep on the couch, and then pulled the door open.

"Honey," she said, "It's wonderful to see you." She pulled her into her arms and hugged her tightly.

"It's good to see you too Mom," Buffy said. "Listen, I need to talk to you about something."

"Can we go into the kitchen?" Joyce offered. "I'll make you some hot chocolate. You feel cold."

The blonde nodded and followed her mom into the kitchen. She leaned against the refrigerator and tried to calm down. She didn't know where to start. She watched her mom fill up a coffee cup with water from the sink, and then stick it into the microwave. She shook a packet of hot cocoa mix and smiled at her sweetly.

"Go on," she said, "Tell me what is going on with you. How are classes?"

"Fine," Buffy said. Classes sucked. College sucked. But this really wasn't the time to bring that up. "School's fine. I'm doing fine. Just.. Listen, I'm going to tell you something and you can't freak out, okay?"

Joyce had an idea what her daughter was about to say, but she didn't want to look like she knew too much. So she just held her hands in front of her politely and waited for the microwave to ding. "Okay Honey, go ahead."

"You remember right around graduation? And everything that happened? I was with Angel.. And he... He got hurt. And I had to save him.. And the only way to save him was.. Was with the blood of a slayer. And.. See.." She stopped. She bit her lip.

Joyce got the cup of hot water out of the microwave and mixed in the cocoa mix with a spoon. She didn't say anything, just waited for Buffy to speak.

"Faith was the one that tried to kill him. And so I.. I went to her.. So that he could.. Drink from her. But.. I stabbed her. And she fell and.. They found her. She was in a comma for eight months Mom."

Buffy's mom handed her the cocoa. "Drink Sweetie," she urged. "I know it's all part of your job. You don't have to tell me all of this. I understand..."

The slayer took a drink of the hot liquid and let it run down her throat. It did feel good to drink something so warm after fighting in the chill of the late night February air. She drank a moment, and then she said, "Mom, Faith's awake. I don't know where she is. But she's hurt.. And. I don't know what she's like anymore.. But.. I don't want her to be hurt. I.. Care about her. I know she's not evil. She just needs.. Someone to help her."

Joyce nodded. "I know." She breathed slowly. She didn't know what exactly her daughter was talking about because she didn't know the entire story. But she knew it was time to reveal exactly what she DID know. She took her daughter's hand and led her into the living room.

Buffy gasped the second she saw the other slayer, laying there on her mom's couch. She handed her mom the coffee cup and ran up to her. She fell to her knees and sat there, watching Faith's chest rise and fall so gently beneath the blanket laid over her. She reached forward, touched the bandage on her neck with her fingertips. Then she looked up to her mom.

"How did you she was.. How did you she wouldn't hurt you?"

"I didn't at first," Joyce answered, "But I realized it as she was laying in the floor, saying your name. And then.. I read those." She motioned to the letters laying on the coffee table.

Buffy's eyes fell on the stack of envelopes that she knew contained her letters. Her heart fluttered in her chest. "Did she say anything else?" She pressed.

"She said 'no' when I threatened calling the cops. She gave me those to read. Buffy, I.." Joyce paused. "I know you care about her. I'm just worried because of what she's done to you."

"She was.." Buffy was choking up, just looking at Faith. She hadn't thought that it would affect her so bad, just seeing the other slayer like this. She'd looked in on her for months while she just slept.. But knowing she was hurt, weak, alone.. Buffy started to cry. "Don't call the cops, okay? I just.. I need to figure out what to do. She's my responsibility, okay?"

Joyce nodded. "I trust your judgement, Honey. But we really need to move her to your room. I have a book club meeting here tomorrow evening.. And I don't mind her staying here.. I just don't want to explain it to the other ladies.."

"It's fine," Buffy said. She reached under Faith and gently lifted her into her arms. Buffy was much smaller than the other slayer, but it didn't matter. She was incredibly strong and nothing was going to keep her from taking care of the other girl now that she had the chance to. She stepped around her mother and started up the stairs.

"I'll get the water, and the blanket," Joyce called after her. "And the letters! I'll be right up."

Faith whimpered in Buffy's arms, still asleep but stirring. Buffy held her closer and took her into her bedroom. She laid her on top of her comforter and then brushed her hair out of her face, and pulled her shirt down. Her eyes were still hot with tears.

Joyce came in after her and covered Faith once again with the blanket. She put the letters and water on the nightstand, and then wrapped her arm around her daughter's shoulders.

"She'll be okay," Buffy said. "I know she will. She's got slayer healing powers. She'll be awake in no time."

"She was in a comma for a while, Honey," Joyce reminded. "She made need our help for a while. She's really weak. And on top of that, she'd missing quite a bit of blood."

"But she'll be OKAY," Buffy insisted. "She has to be." She turned and buried her face in her Mother's shoulder. "She just.. HAS to be."


	8. Chapter 8

**Faith, Hope & Revelations**

Chapter 8

Buffy lay on the edge of her bed all night, hoping Faith would wake up. But she didn't. All she did was sleep. In contrast, Buffy couldn't sleep at all. She touched Faith's jaw every now and again and whispered, "Please Faith..." But the other slayer just stayed asleep.

She got up when her mom got up and headed downstairs. "I need lots and lots of coffee if I'm going to be worth ANYTHING today," she grumbled.

"Could you not get any rest?" Joyce replied, and started brewing a fresh pot. "I hate that. You have class today, don't you?"

Buffy sighed. "Yeah. I do." Then she remembered Riley. And Willow. She knew they were both probably really worried about her. "I really need to get going." She leaned against the counter and let the cool countertop press against her cheek. "As soon as I get some of that coffee."

"Why don't you run upstairs and grab a shower," Joyce suggested. "You have some clothes in your closet. I'll have a thermos ready for you when you get down. And I'll drive you to school. You can come back as soon as you're out of class and see if there's any change. I'll be at work until five but you have a key."

"Okay," she stood back up. "That's probably a good plan. Water would probably wake me up a little." She groaned. "I REALLY don't wanna go to Math today." She headed back upstairs and got some clothes out of her closet. Faith was still sound asleep. She adjusted the blanket on her chest and then headed to the bathroom. She showered slowly, let the hot water run over her body. It felt good to be in a real shower rather than the ones at the dorm. She really missed being home.

Buffy was dressing when there was a knock at the door. She buttoned up her pants and opened it hurriedly, hoping it was Faith. But it was just her mom.

"Willow called a moment ago. She asked if I knew where you were. I told her you stopped by last night and stayed over." She gave her daughter a gentle smile. "Is that alright?"

The slayer nodded. She was glad her mom hadn't said anything about Faith. She hugged her. "Thanks Mom. Yes. That's good. Lemme just blow dry my hair and put on some make-up and I'll be ready, okay?"

Joyce headed back downstairs and got Buffy's coffee ready. She was just snapping the lid onto the cup when her daughter bounded down the stairs.

"I'm going to drop out," Buffy said, "And get a job at the Doublemeat Palace."

Joyce raised an eyebrow and handed the cup to her daugther. "You most certainly are not."

Buffy shrugged. It was worth a shot. "Fine. Let's just go.. I wanna get this day over with."

"You really ought to work on getting your license Buffy," Joyce told her daughter as they drove towards the university.

"Eh," the slayer shrugged. "I understand vampires. And demons. And all sorts of ungodly creatures. I get fighting tactics and research.. But I just cannot understand why cars have to have so many buttons and gears and stuff. Can't there just be one big read green button that says 'Go!' and one big red button that says 'Stop!'?"

Joyce smiled and pulled into the turn for the college. She kissed her daughter on her cheek. "I'll see you tonight, right?"

Buffy nodded. Being around her mom made her really miss living at home. She was already looking forward to heading home and being back in her room again.. And she definitely was looking forward to checking on Faith..


	9. Chapter 9

**Faith, Hope & Revelations**

Chapter 9

Buffy headed to her dorm, sipping her coffee. She still had two hours before her first class, and she wanted to see Willow. The redheaded witch wasn't alone though. She was sitting on her bed with another girl when Buffy opened the door.

They both stood up quickly.

"Oh, um, Buffy." Willow's cheeks turned pink. "I didn't know you'd be back so soon.."

Buffy looked at Willow, then at the girl on the bed. If she hadn't known any better.. She would have thought.. She looked at the other girl for a second then smiled at both of them. "I had my mom drop me off."

"This is Tara," Willow said, "Tara, this is Buffy. She's my best friend."

Buffy felt kinda weird, like Willow was introducing her to her..girlfriend.. Or something. She tried not to reflect that on her face. "It's nice to meet you," she said cheerfully. "Any friend of Will's is a friend of mine."

Tara smiled shyly. "I.. I better go. I.. have a class soon.. and... And you and Buffy should..." She was really incredibly shy. Buffy could tell that. Or at least incredibly embarassed.

"No," Buffy shook her head. "You stay. I'll go. I need to go see Riley. I originally planned on going to see him last night.. But I ended up staying over at my mom's."

"Is everything okay about that?" Willow asked, "I mean with your mom?"

"I just.. Went to tell her about Faith," Buffy said. Because it was pretty true. "And I just hadn't been there in a while.. And so she asked me to stay and.. I guess I forgot to let anyone know. I'm sorry."

Willow could kinda sense something what up. But she figured it was just that Buffy was worried about Faith being awake and somewhere in Sunnydale. "It's okay," she said. "I'll see you for lunch, right?"

"Actually.." Buffy sat her empty coffee cup on her desk and got her backpack and filled it with the stuff she needed for her two morning classes. "I don't have Math today." That was a lie. She just wasn't going to go. It wasn't until 2.. And if she split after her second class, she could get back to Faith at noon. "So.. After psych, I'm gonna head back to mom's house. I told her... That... I'd be there when she got out of work." She realized Willow looked really confused and she added, "Ya know, because she's worried about Faith."

"Oh." Willow sat back down on her bed with Tara. "Okay.. Well I'll see you later, then okay? Maybe we can all meet up at Giles'?"

"Yeah," Buffy nodded. "Yeah that would be fun. I gotta jet though. See ya Wills. Bye Tara." She headed out of the room.

Buffy had super strength, sure, but she hated carrying around the books she had to have for class. What an unneeded strain. They had to have weighed like fifty pounds. It was kinda ridiculous. Once she got to Riley's frat, she dropped her bag in the living room of the place and headed upstairs to his room. She knocked once, and he opened the door with his shirt off, lookin' kinda sleepy. It was only eight in the morning, so she couldn't blame him.

He smiled when he saw it was her though. "Oh, Buffy," he rubbed his eyes. "Good morning.. I missed you last night."

"I went to see my mom," Buffy said. "Sorry."

He took her hand and pulled her into his bedroom after her, and closed the door. He pressed his warm lips to her jaw and wrapped his muscular arms around her small body. "It's okay," he told her, "I just wished we could have.. Maybe.." He turned her face and pushed his lips against her lips.

Buffy's mind went to Faith. She thought about her laying alone in her bed. She hadn't even left her a note. She hadn't even left her any proof that Buffy had been there. She pushed Riley away.

"I can't right now," she said, "I'm sorry. I just remembered.. My mom said.. That.." She searched her mind for an excuse to go back home. "That she was having a package delivered. And she needs someone to sign for it. I.. I needa go home. I'm sorry. Can you tell the professor I won't be in Psych class because I'm sick? I'll.. email everyone else. Um. And my backpack is downstairs. Could you just.. Maybe bring it in here so no one steals it?"

Riley's eyes were full of confusion. "You.. Just got here. And you gotta go back.. To sign for a package?" He grabbed his shirt off the floor and pulled it on. "What?"

"I can't explain right now.. Just.. Don't tell Willow or anyone. I have to go. I'm sorry."

"Well do you need me to drive you?" He offered. "Because it's cold and.."

She shook her head, and hugged him quickly. "No. I just wanna run. I've got a lot of pent up energy." And she was out of the room, running back down the stairs, out of the lobby and down the street, back towards Revello Drive.

It was crazy, but she just wanted to be there for Faith when she woke up. She wanted to make sure she knew she was safe.


	10. Chapter 10

**Faith, Hope & Revelations**

Chapter 10

Buffy ran fast. She had her keys in her pocket, but that was all. The cold air put a chill in her and she was working on zero hours of sleep, and a cup of decaf, but she didn't care. She took a short-cut through the cemetary, and vaulted over the gate heading to her street. Her heart was pounding in her chest when she got to the front door and she couldn't for the life of her explain why.

She unlocked the door with a shakey hand and then dropped her keys on the counter in the kitchen before heading upstairs. She went to the bedroom first, and when she saw the bed was empty, the blanket pushed back, she deflated like a popped balloon. Her eyes fogged up. The water and letters were still there... But no Faith.

She was about to crumple into the floor when she heard the bathroom door open, and spun around.

Faith stepped out of the door, rubbing her face with a washcloth. When she saw Buffy, she backed up slowly, scared.

"Faith," Buffy said, she stepped out into the hallway slowly. The other slayer looked bad. She was pale, and weak looking. Her hair was a mess and she had blood all on the front of her shirt. The bandage on her neck was peeling off and she looked like she hadn't slept in days, even though Buffy knew that wasn't true.

Faith held the washcloth in her hand and found herself backing away from the other slayer. She still felt like Hell. Maybe even worse than she had the night before. She could have sworn that the scar on her stomach throbbed the moment she saw Buffy, but that was kind of ridiculous.

"Hey," Buffy's voice was small, gentle. "Please don't.. I.." She took another step forward. "I just want to.." Buffy's eyebrows furrowed. Her eyes scanned Faith's body. She looked so lonely, weak, innocent. Buffy felt her chest swell and even though she tried to tell herself not to, she crossed the room, put her hands on either side of Faith's jaws and pulled the girl into a kiss. She pressed her lips against Faith's and everything she thought it would be like proved to be true. Faith's lips were soft and warm and.. She pulled back, looked into Faith's face. She let her go, took a step back. "I'm sorry."

The look the brunette slayer gave her was incredibly beautiful. She looked absolutely confused, maybe lost, maybe completely torn.. But she looked happy. It was impossible to understand, but the second Buffy's lips touched hers, she felt like she could get better. She'd been laying around since she woke up, wondering if she'd ever get her strength back.. But then, Buffy had just came galavanting in, and stepped up to her.. And kissed her. And now she had a little burst of energy. She closed the gap between them, this time taking Buffy's face in her hands, and she kissed her back. She kissed her lips, and then her cheeks, her jaws, her chin. She kissed her lips again and then she felt her energy failing, and she leaned against the smaller slayer a second. Her neck hurt. Her stomach hurt. Her thighs hurt. She hurt all over. "Didn't think you were gonna come B," she said, her voice husky.

"I would've been here sooner," Buffy replied, "But I.. I had class.."

"Oh yeah, you're in college now," Faith said, and Buffy helped her back to the bedroom to sit down. "Damn you must be busy. How was class today?"

"Well," Buffy frowned, "I skipped them all. Um. To come here."

Faith grinned, and laid back on the bed. Buffy put some pillows behind her head. "I'm still a bad influence," she said.

"Yeah, maybe," Buffy sat down beside her. She wanted to touch her again, but she was afraid.

Faith closed her eyes, and sighed. "Gotta watch who you hang out with Blondie," she said quietly, "Never know who they'll end up tryin' to kill."

"I don't understand this either," the blonde slayer said. "I just.. I know you. And..."

"I know," Faith's mouth moved, but that was all. "I read the letters."

"You did?"

"Yes. Twice. Once yesterday.. And once this morning. I hoped there would be anyone one, actually. And when there wasn't.. I figured it was because of your new honey."

Buffy's eyes widened. "Riley," she said. "How do you know about Riley?"

"Saw you two together," Faith said, "At Giles' apartment last night.. I went there first. Saw you two kiss. You coulda put that in the letters."

"He's.." Buffy stopped. She didn't know what to say. "I started going out with him as a distraction. Because.. I was trying to forget about you."

"Feels real good right about now," Faith grumbled.

"I didn't know if you'd ever wake up," the blonde slayer responded, feeling kinda hopeless. When Faith didn't say anythin, and just lay with her eyes closed, Buffy got back off the bed and walked to the bedroom door, frustrated.

"Wait B," Faith said. She pushed herself back up so she was sitting with her back straight. "Would you wanna do me a favor?"

Buffy turned back around and looked at Faith sitting there, obviously in pain. Riley was hurt too. Shouldn't she have been there with him? He was her boyfriend.. She swallowed. "Yes. Sure."

Faith stood back up. "I'm filthy.. And I really wanna take a shower.. But I got nothin' to put on.. And honestly, I don't even think I can handle standin' up that long..." The brunette licked her lips. Her body was one big bunch of pain. And she hated it. She just wanted to head out to the cemetary and kick some ass. Demon ass. She was done with killing humans. She was good now. Or, she wanted to be. She tried to stand up straighter, felt her back aching. She'd really outdone herself running from that vamp. Wasn't that pathetic? She sighed and looked at Buffy. "Do you wanna help me?"


	11. Chapter 11

**Faith, Hope & Revelations**

Chapter 11

Buffy absolutely didn't know what Faith was asking her to do. But she said yes. Her mother said that Faith would need them to take care of her for the next few days, and Buffy justified helping the other slayer bathe because of it.

"Yeah.. I... I'll start some water in the tub. It'd be easier if you took a bath, honestly," she said. "But I can help you." She swallowed. "Okay?"

Faith nodded. "Okay." She couldn't wait to peel off the hospital scrubs. She sat back down on the bed and stretched her legs in front of her. She'd woken up to a completely different world. A world where she had a second chance.. And Buffy, the golden girl, was into her. Like really into her. Enough to help Faith take a bath. She shook her head confused and waited for Buffy to come get her.

"The water's really hot," the blonde said, coming back into the room. "But.. It'll feel good. And.. I need to look at the wound on your neck." She helped Faith stand up, and they walked together to the bathroom. She was doing fine until she got in there. And then she started shaking.

Faith went to the tub and sat down on the edge. The steam of the bath spiraled up around her and fogged up the mirror. Buffy had added bubble-bath and the entire surface of the water was foamy. "Smells good," she said, "What'd you use?"

"Strawberries and cream bubble bath. It's.. my favorite."

The brunette nodded, and then tried to pull her shirt over her head. But her arms ached and her neck hurt and she groaned. Buffy stepped up, put her hands on the hem of the shirt and lifted it over Faith's head.

Buffy's breath caught in her throat when she saw Faith's bare chest. She had dried blood all down her left breast, and her abdomen. And she had a puckered scar on her stomach. Buffy touched it gently. Her mind flashed back to eight months prior. She remembered shoving the blade into Faith's stomach.. She remembered the face Faith had made as the metal sliced into her abdomen.. She remembered the way the brunette had toppled backward and hit the truck bed that drove beneath. The smaller slayer winced, and felt tears running down her cheeks.

"Hey," Faith said, "I'm better now, remember? All healed up and awake." She untied the drawstring on her pants and let them fall around her ankles. Buffy shielded her eyes, embarassed, and Faith climbed into the tub, sliding beneath the bubbles, into the hot, steamy water. The only part of her that stayed above the water was her head, her wounded neck towards Buffy.

"Do you need a washcloth? Shampoo? Soap?" Buffy didn't know what to do. She was standing there watching Faith take a bath and even though her heart was thudding wildly, she felt incredibly out of place and confused.

"I'm okay right now," Faith replied, relaxed. Her eyes were closed once again. "C'mere."

"What?" Buffy watched Faith's arms lift out of the water and rest on the edges of the rub. "Why?"

"Didn't ya wanna check on my wound?" Faith pulled her hair around her shoulder and bared her neck to the other slayer.

"Oh! Oh yes! I did." Buffy went up to Faith and knelt beside the tub. She peeled the tape off slowly, and pulled the bandage off, laying it on the floor by the tub. The wound wasn't that bad. It was bad, yeah, but it wasn't terrible. It looked like it had already healed a lot. Buffy stood back up, got a wash cloth from the closet and dipped it into the water. Faith just watched her. She ran it gingerly over the wound and wiped off all the extra blood. It wasn't bleeding anymore. Faith winced but she didn't say anything. "I... I think you're gonna be okay," Buffy said. "We're slayers, so we heal fast. And it already looks like it's been days since you were bitten."

Faith slid under the water, wetting her hair. Then she came back out, and reached for the shampoo. Buffy got it for her, squirted some in her hair, and started massaging it through Faith's hair. She was as soft as she could be.

"I'm sorry about.. About what I did," Faith said, her voice a whisper.

"So am I," Buffy said.

"I wouldn't blame you if you called the cops, got me taken outta here."

Buffy ignored her. She made sure all of Faith's hair was lathered up with Lavender shampoo, and then she said, "Dip," and pushed her back under the water. She worked her hands through Faith's hair under the water, and then pulled her back up.

Faith wiped the water out of her eyes. She looked at Buffy, watched her take the wash cloth and rub it over her collar bones, not daring to go any lower. Faith took a deep breath, "Get in here with me," she said.

The blonde slayer's heart flipped. "Wh-what?"

"You heard me," Faith said, her voice like silk, "Take your clothes off. Climb in here. I'll let some of the water out so it won't over flow. Just.. Get in here."


	12. Chapter 12

**Faith, Hope & Revelations**

Chapter 12

Buffy's hands were shaking as she undid the buttons of her pants. She was trembling as she pulled her shirt over her head. She watched Faith move to pull the stopper out of the tub. She let the water go down a bit, so it was just over the tops of her breasts. Buffy could feel her heart in her throat and could hear blood rushing in her ears. What was going on with her? She blew a stream of air up and moved a piece of her bangs out of her eyes. She swallowed and unhooked her bra.

Faith watched her. Her eyes climbed down Buffy's body, took in every inch of her skin. Seeing the the good slayer naked was something she'd longed to witness since she'd met the girl. Faith had never been with a girl before, but damn, there was something about Buffy that made her head spin. She'd almost lost it the night they'd gone dancing. When Buffy was moving over her body... She thought, maybe, they could go a little further.. Faith had wanted Buffy's hands all over her body. It was when the other slayer turned from her, let her slip into darkness, that Faith turned that passion into anger.

But now.. Now they were both naked.. And Buffy was climbing into the tub. Faith scooted back a bit, watched Buffy's legs as she stepped into the water. Her body still ached, but she didn't care. She held her breath until Buffy was in the water, on her knees, her legs spread over Faith's legs. And then, when the smaller slayer reached one hand out, bubbles all over her arm, and she stroked Faith's jaw.. the brunette reached forward, pulled Buffy to her and kissed her again. God, fighting the girl had always turned her on.. But kissing her.. Kissing her was an all new experience. Faith wanted to touch her. She wanted to run her hands down Buffy's body, make her sigh, make her moan.. Her mind quickly cycled through a bunch of different ways the two of them could make love- In a bed, against a wall, on the floor of the living room, on her mom's couch, on the kitchen counter, in the cemetary against a mausoleum.. And of course right here. Faith knew that Buffy was mostly innocent. She's slept with Angel once and he's lost his virginity and went mad tryin' to kill everyone. Or so she'd heard. She hadn't arrived yet. Faith wondered if Buffy had had any since then.. She still seemed pretty innocent..

Buffy pushed her tongue into Faith's mouth and ran her hands down her chest. She let her palms pass over Faith's nipples, and then she went lower, until she was holding on to the bones of other slayers hips. She climbed completely onto Faith's lap, and breathed hard into her mouth.

Faith was suddenly very sure that Buffy wasn't as innocent as she'd remembered. She'd been dating Riley after all. They'd probably been going at it for ages. Suddenly Faith felt kinda sick. She thought about that twink pushin' up on Buffy and she stomach turned. It was hard enough watching her and Angel kiss.. But now she had a real boy as a boyfriend and.. She'd been gettin' freaky with someone, by the way she was panting, and the way her hands were slipping down further, traveling up Faith's legs. She sighed, didn't know why she was doing what she was doing, but she wrapped her hands around Buffy's wrists. She knew that if Buffy had wanted to, she could have pulled away, no problem. But she didn't.

Her eyes jumped around Faith's face. "What? Am I doing it wrong?" Buffy had been with Angel once.. Parker once.. And Riley once. But they'd all been boys. And Faith was very much.. A girl.

"I.." Faith had to force herself to say it. "I don't wanna fuck you B," she breathed out slowly and watched Buffy pull away like she was stung.

"I thought.." she looked horrified.

"I mean I do," Faith groaned. "I really, really do."

Buffy looked lost. "Then.." she leaned back in, "Do it.." She kissed Faith again, pulling at the other slayer's bottom lip. Kissing her was so different than kissing boys.. Her mouth was soft, warm, and her body was.. So smooth..

Faith fought an inward battle. Part of her was on fire feeling Buffy touch her, part of her was in pain and exhausted, and then there was that part of her telling her that Buffy had a boyfriend, and Faith was trying to be good. The old Faith wouldn't have given a damn. The second Buffy said she was down, she would yanked her into bed and had her way with her. But.. Faith wanted redemption. It was just really hard to think about it as Buffy's hands found her breasts and started rubbing them gently. Soooo gently...

She leaned back, and let Buffy explore her. And she did. The blonde massaged for a second with both hands, still kissing Faith sweetly, letting their tongues entertwine, but then she took one hand and walked her fingers down Faith's stomach. She squeezed her hip again and when she got to the inside of her thighs, she paused.

Faith wanted Buffy pretty bad, but she kept telling herself it was wrong. But it wasn't working. "You confused about what to do next?" she asked Buffy.

"I.." the blonde pulled back and looked at Faith. "Why aren't you touching me?"

"You got a boyfriend B."

Buffy swallowed. Of course she had a boyfriend. And Riley was totally sweet and didn't deserve to be cheated on. But.. There was Faith.. And.. She was in love with her and.. God, even when her body was all weak and achey, she was still so hot. She sighed. "I know I do.. But..."

"You can feel on me all you want," Faith said, "But I can't do you. I'm sorry." She licked her lips. Saying no to Buffy was one of the hardest things she'd ever done. And she'd done a lot of hard things. A hell of a lot of hard things.

"I.." Buffy's breath was shakey. She sat back up, and covered her chest with her arms. "I understand." She was trying really hard not to cry, and she felt like a fool because of it. Faith, who was probably one of the most sexual people she'd ever met had just turned her down. She'd admitted that she WANTED her... But she'd refused to do anything about it.

"I'm sorry," Faith said again. "You mean more to me than that."

Buffy stared at her. Had she just said that? Her heart flipped. She got up, out of the bath, got a towel from the closet, dryed off and then got dressed again. Her hair was still dry and it looked as if she'd never been in there in the first place. She got another towel and laid it beside the tub. She watched Faith take the washcloth Buffy had used early and rub it down her skin. Then she lifted her chin and said- "Thank you Faith."

The other slayer sighed, her hand beneath the water, between her legs. Most of the bubbles had dissolved and Buffy could see that the other girl was touching herself. She closed her eyes and tried to will herself to turn around and leave. But she couldn't. She walked a little closer, wanting to see more.

Faith's eyes were closed as she rubbed, but she knew that Buffy was watching her. And the closer the slayer got to her, the hotter she got. Eventually she was moaning softly. And Buffy was on her knees by the tub again, watching. Faith stopped, reached out of the water, grabbed Buffy's hand and brought it between her legs. The second her fingertip came in contact with Faith's clit, Faith moaned louder. "Yeah, rub.."

Buffy did as she was told and rubbed Faith until the brunette guided her hand down a little further and pushed two of Buffy's fingers inside of her. Buffy gasped. Faith was so warm, so soft. Buffy pumped her slowly, letting Faith's hand guide her. And after a minute, she felt Faith's pussy tighten around her fingers and she knew the other slayer was coming. She waited until Faith's breathing slowed down and then she pulled her hand out and kissed Faith's forehead.

"Thanks," Faith mumbled. Her head was foggy again. Had Buffy actually just.. Goddd. She pushed down on the tub sides and hoisted herself up, letting the water drip off of her. She reached and got the towel and started trying herself off.

The front door opened downstairs and Buffy heard it. She hurried out of the bathroom and headed downstairs. Her mom was taking off her jacket. She looked up at Buffy surprised when she realized she was there.

"Buffy?" She tilted her head to one side. "Aren't you supposed to be in class?"


	13. Chapter 13

**Faith, Hope & Revelations**

Chapter 13

Buffy could still feel the way Faith's body had tightened around her fingers. She did her best not to shudder. Her mom had just asked her a question. Why wasn't she in class? She had to come up with something quick.

"I.. They were all canceled," she lied. "Big coincidence thing. Some virus going around.. All my teachers caught it."

Joyce raised an eyebrow at Buffy. "Well. Okay." She looked up the stairs. "I'm on my lunch break from the gallery. How's Faith? Is she still sleeping?"

Sleeping? Buffy thought? No. Letting me get her off in the bathtub? Yes. "She got up actually. She's taking a bath. Should be done in a minute. I need to find her something to wear. She's too tall for my clothes."

"Actually," Joyce sat her purse on the counter in the kitchen beside Buffy's keys. "I was going to ask you about that. Do you know where we could get her some clothes?"

"They might have her stuff from her apartment still in storage," Buffy suggested. The mayor probably paid off Faith's apartment through the millenium. "Actually it's probaby still in her apartment. I may head over there and try to get some stuff together for her."

"That's a good idea," Joyce said. "I think Faith really needs to eat something though. She'd been living on feeding tubes for the past eight months. I thought I'd make us all some food. Do you wanna eat with us or head over there and eat when you get back? I can give Faith my robe until you get her some clothes."

Buffy nodded. "Yeah. Yeah that sounds good. I'll go pack her some clothes.. And head back. Lemme just.. Go tell her."

She headed back up the stairs and knocked her knuckles on the bathroom door. "I'm.. Gonna head over to your apartment and get you some clothes. Is there anything you.."

The door opened up, and Faith yanked Buffy into the bathroom with all the strength she had in her. It wasn't a very rough yank though, because the brunette slayer was still incredibly weak. She kissed Buffy hungrily and pushed her against the sink. Faith held her towel up with one hand and held onto the blonde's hip with her hand. Her hormones were running away with her and she had to keep herself from pushing her hand up Buffy's shirt. She wanted the other slayer so bad, but she knew it was wrong. She pulled at Buffy's bottom lip with her teeth, and pressed her nearly naked body against Buffy's warmth. Her heart was slamming against her chest. Buffy Summers had just gotten her off, and Faith's head couldn't wrap around it. She'd had sex before. She'd had lots of sex. But.. It had all been meaningless. But.. Wasn't it Buffy that she'd wanted since they had met? Wasn't it Buffy that she'd lost herself trying to get the attention of? And.. Wasn't it Buffy that she'd just gotten all those letters from? Faith sighed. The blonde was in love with her. She'd say those three words in the eighth letter- "Wake up Faith. I love you. Please."

Of course, now the older slayer had moved on. She was with a blonde guy. Riley, she'd said. Faith felt her body aching again. Thinking she had a chance of being with Buffy made her forget about the pain, but the second it sunk in again, it hurt more than ever. She let go of Buffy and backed up. "If you just get me some clothes, I'd be happy." Faith said. "Thanks B."

Buffy bit her lip, she followed Faith into her bedroom like a zombie. "I.." She didn't know what she wanted to say. Her head was all stupid. "Kiss," she said.

"Kiss?" Faith turned around. God, getting off had made her feel a Hell of a lot better for a minute, but she was feelin' pretty drained again. AND she was fucking starving. She wanted to kiss Buffy again but she didn't. She just sighed, and touched her neck gently, feeling the punctured skin beneath her fingertips. "Yeah, kiss. Your mom cookin' something? I'm hungry as hell."

"Yeah.. She's.." Buffy tilted her head to one side. What was going on? One second Faith was all over her in the tub.. Then she was rejecting her.. Then she was pushing Buffy's fingers inside of her.. Making out with her against the sink.. And now they were just looking at each other across the room. "Lunch. And..."

Buffy was sad. The only thing worse than Buffy sad.. Was Buffy incredibly angry. At Faith. So the brunette did was she had to do to show the girl that things were okay- she smiled at her, her eyes all sleepy, and her dimples all prominant. "You gonna stick around tonight Blondie?"

"Yeah.. I was. I mean. Do you want me to?"

"Of course I do," Faith said. "Actually, I wish I was up for goin' with you to my place. I wanna get a bunch of my things and hang out here for a while.. That okay?"

"Yes of course!" Buffy cleared her throat. "I mean.. Yes. I do. I don't want you being alone right now."

"You're lovin' that I'm damsel in distress, aintcha B?" Faith laughed a little but even that hurt. "You gonna be all over me like some kinda superhero puppy dog?"

"Puppy Dog?" Buffy pouted, "No.. I just.." Buffy left the room and got one of her mom's spare robes out of the hall closet. She strolled back into the room and handed it to Faith like it wasn't a big deal. "You need me right now," she told her. "And I'm not too proud to take care of you. I did this to you. You're my responsibility."

"Ain't really your fault, B," Faith said and her stomach growled. She touched it and then stood up and dropped the towel.

Buffy bit her lip. What was wrong with her? She was never like this. She'd only had three sexual experiences before today.. Sleeping with Angel had resulted in one of the hardest times of her life. Sleeping with Parker had just been really sucky. But sleeping with Riley had been.. Kind of nice. Not explosive. Not amazing. But he'd been there when Buffy woke up in the morning. That was dedication, right? He wasn't off slaughtering people Buffy loved, or flirting with other girls on campus. And.. yet.. Here was Faith. They'd had the absolute weirdest past, and Faith had definitely betrayed Buffy. And yet.. Buffy found herself forgiving the girl for all of her betrayal. She felt her very essence, the threads within her that made her a slayer, twined around the same threads found within Faith. And she absolutely knew that even if Faith were to betray her again, head down a dark road, BE the dark road that everyone else took.. Buffy would still love her. She would still absolutely love her. Because Faith was her. She was a foil to what Buffy stood for and even though she really let the good slayer down sometimes, she was able to see beyond all that and see the girl that Faith wanted to be. And as Buffy watched her slide her arms into the plushy grey robe, and tie the string around her waist, she let the tears in her eyes slide down her cheeks. She crossed the room and buried her face in Faith's neck. She kissed the wound on the other girl's neck.

Faith put her hands on Buffy's shoulderblades, not really knowing how to respond to the sudden expression of affection.

"I'm really glad you woke up," Buffy whispered into Faith's wet hair. She squeezed her tight and then pulled away and ran out of her room and downstairs. She was eager to just get out of the house and get some fresh air. She just wanted to punch something. Why did she have to be such a girl? Faith was hurt and alone and confused and she was doing a perfectly fine jon of being disconnected. But Buffy? Buffy had to go and hug her. She grabbed her keys off the counter and shoved them in her pocket.

"Faith get the robe?" Joyce asked, stirring something in a pot on the stove. It smelt kinda spicy.

"Yeah she did. I'm gonna head over to her apartment. Be back soon."

Once Buffy was outside, she started bolting. She ran as fast as she could down the street, and away from her house. She ran towards the cemetary, which was kind of the opposite way she needed to run, but she wanted to put a little distance between her and Faith before she doubled back. There was nothing in the cemetary to punch though, just a chilly wind that that pushed Buffy's hair back and made her shiver. God she needed to relieve some tension. She wondered where Spike was. He was fun to mess with.


	14. Chapter 14

**Faith, Hope & Revelations**

Chapter 14

Buffy kicked the door to the cypt open and walked into the dank darkness that had once belonged to Angel. It didn't feel like Angel had ever been there though.

"Spikey," she said, mocking, "You got a few minutes to talk?" She stepped through the room and headed into the back, where Angel had once had a bed.

And there was Spike. Naked, laying on his bed. He hopped up when she walked in and they both stared at each other for a second. Then he bent down, grabbed his jeans and held them in front of his waist. "Bloody Hell, Slayer, don't you know how to KNOCK?"

Buffy's face emptied of all color. She'd just seen Spike's... EWWWW. She gagged and then turned around. "Oh GAG ME." She turned around with her hand over her eyes. "I yelled your name! How was I supposed to know you'd be NAKED."

"This is my flat!" Spike said, hurriedly stepping into his jeans. "I can be naked here anytime I want! I bloody live here!" He shook his head. "What did you want anyway? You lookin' to shag me or somethin'?"

Buffy whipped back around and was glad to see that the vamp was dressed. "Oh GOD no, I'd sooner DIE than have sex with you! I just.. I wanted to kick your ass actually. But now that I've seen it.." She gagged again. "Nevermind. I'm leaving."

Spike shrugged on his leather coat really quick and shoved his feet into his boots. "Hey, wait up," he hurried after her and grabbed her arm before she was able to get out of the crypt. He didn't get visitors often, and it was actually kinda nice talking to someone during the day that wasn't undead and brainless.

"DON'T touch me," Buffy yelled, and yanked her arm away. She shook her head. "Man, you're pathetic. I could kill you right now and you'd just have to take it, and you want to chat?"

"You came in here! I didn't go lookin' for you, Slayer. I was just tryin' to nap."

"Do you always sleep naked!?"

"Usually," he shrugged. "Yeah."

"Well you're gross," Buffy said. "I don't even feel like beating you up anymore. I just want to go do what I came out here to do and head home. My mom is making lunch and.." She shook her head. "Why am I even talking to you?"

"Fuck if I know," Spike replied and dug into his pocket for his cigarettes. "What is it that you came out here to do anyway? You trackin' some big bad evil or some shit?" He stuck a slightly bent cigarette between lips and lit it quickly. "Because I'm up for fightin' somethin'."

"If you walked out there right now," Buffy reminded him, "You'd be dust in five seconds. You wanna go kill yourself? Because I really wouldn't argue."

"What is UP with you lately anyhow? You're even more annoying that usual, and that's sayin' a lot," Spike said, "because you're pretty fucking annoying. All cavalier and shit, comin' in here tryin' to beat me up because you've got bigger fish to fry and you're too scared or somethin' to deal with 'em." He looked at Buffy a second and then said, "Hey, I know. This is about that other slayer you asked me about last night. You ever find her? She dead? That why you're such a bitch?"

Buffy sighed. She was actually standing in Spike's crypt, having a conversation with him. And he was asking her how she was and ugg. Was she really that confused? "I did find her," she said. "And she's okay. No thanks to YOU." She groaned. "And I'm.. WHY AM I TALKING TO YOU?" She took a few more angry steps toward the door she'd just kicked open a minute ago, but then she turned around and said, "If you ever get that chip out of your head and go after her.. She'll kick your ass so hard you won't have one left. So. So there."

Spike's eyes widened. He blew a steady stream of smoke at Buffy. "Yeah? She a bad bitch or somethin'?"

"She's Faith," Buffy said. "Haven't you heard of her?" She figured that vampires had some little tree that they passed information along through.

"No." Spike shook his head. "Am I supposed to know her? What's the big deal? Girl got a reputation or somethin'?"

"Or something," Buffy replied, kinda of dismally. "She's just.. She has a dark past. She worked for the mayor."

"Oh!" Spike's eyes lit up. "Oh! I know who you're talkin' about!" He sucked on the cigarette and then puffed out the smoke as he spoke, "Dru mentioned her once. Busty brunette. Supposed to bring about the end of Sunnydale during your grad. Guess she failed, since you're standin' here chattin' with me about it."

The fact that Spike had just called Faith busty was pretty much the only thing Buffy could focus on. She tried to clear her head. "She's good now."

"Is she? Didn't think it worked like that. I'm sure she'll join the dark side again at some time or another. They all do, don't they?"

Buffy felt a huge part of her self-control snap. She walked up to Spike, and punched him hard in the jaw. Then she kicked him, sending his body slamming into the stone wall directly behind him. "Don't you stand there and tell me about good and bad," she hissed, "You don't know ANYTHING!" She stomped up to him and stood above him, where he was sitting in the floor looking up at her. He couldn't fight the slayer, so there really was no use in getting back up. "You are a VAMPIRE," she practically shouted, "That means you have no SOUL. You're slime. You're GARBAGE. You don't deserve to even be ALIVE." She was shaking she was so mad.

"Looks like I struck a nerve," the vampire said, and pulled his box of cigarettes out of his back pocket. It was crushed, and he frowned at it and then sighed. "You gonna hang around and beat me up or ya gonna run back to her and tell her you beat up a defenseless vamp in her honor?"

The slayer realized what Spike was getting at and she realized that he was right. She'd just flown off the handle over Faith... She'd just thrown Spike against a wall because he hit a nerve. He'd said that there was a chance Faith could go back to being bad.. And he was right. What kept her from it? What made Buffy believe she was going to change? The blonde slayer's cheeks were hot. Her stomach was churning and she felt like she was going to throw up. She'd sat around for eight months praying that Faith would wake up.. Have an epiphany and wanna be good. That she'd cling to Buffy and learn how to be a hero, instead of a villian. And.. Hadn't that all came true? So now what? Would she get that itch to try evil again? Would she feel the need to turn away from Buffy?

"You.. You know nothing about this," Buffy said again, this time her voice much softer, much less intimidating. He's basically zapped all the power out of her. "You're a.."

"A vampire," he finished for her. "Yes. That's right. I am." He stood up and dusted off his jeans. "And right now I don't fight the bad fight because I CAN'T. But don't think that I bloody don't wanna! If I could, I'd be tryin' to kill you right now! And that's because I'm a killer! And I always will be. Ain't nothin' to change that. So before you go makin' goo-goo eyes at your dark slayer, just remember. She's got the bad in her too, and if she ever gets the chip outta her head, she's gonna slip." He sniffed, and headed back into his room. "No way around it," he said, and flopped back down on his bed.

Buffy stood there in the dimness for a minute, her hands shaking. She clenched and unclenched her fists. Why had she let him get to her like he had? He was a monster. And Faith was just.. Faith was misguided. Buffy could fix her. Buffy could hold her hand and walk her down the right path.. Right? She could, couldn't she?


	15. Chapter 15

**Faith, Hope & Revelations**

_A/N: Gosh, it's suuuuuper cold where I live. -4, with a windchill of -14. I may die. Lol. But not before I write some more. OH. And I dedicate this chapter to Buffy1987, who is my muse. Lol. Seriously. AND. You guys should for sure check out our story "Tree Hill Slayer".. It's a Buffy/One Tree Hill crossover, AND it's a femmeslash. So there. But. Seriously. Check it out. You can find it on my page... :P_

Chapter 15

Xander drove by Buffy in his ice-cream truck as she headed back toward Faith's apartment. He slowed down and yelled, "Hey little blonde girl, you want some ice-cream!?"

Buffy stopped in her tracks and tried to look like she wasn't on this grand adventure to get Faith's forgotten belongings. "Oh," she said. "Hey Xand."

Anya leaned out of the window and said, "Who is it that you are talking to? Oh. It's just Buffy. Hello Buffy."

"Hello Anya."

Xander stopped the van and then went back to the freezer, opened the serving window and smiled at his blonde friend. "You're out and about at a strange time. Dontcha got class or something?"

"Did," Buffy said. "But they got canceled. So I'm.. Running errands for Mom."

"For your Mom?" Xander tilted his head to one side, "Like what?"

"Like.. I gotta go to the store."

He shrugged. He looked kinda funny in his striped vest and icecream hat. Some little kids started to group up behind Buffy with their parents. "Hey, lemme serve these kiddos and I'll give ya a lift."

"No Xander," Anya said. "That's my seat."

He sighed. "Anya, honey. Could you just.." He stepped around her and smiled at the nearest little kid.

Buffy got out of the way. "Hey, don't worry about it. I want to run."

She waved at her friend and at Anya and got ready to head off, but Xander said, "Hey wait a minute.. Have you heard from.. You know.. HER?"

"Faith?" Buffy replied. Then she felt dumb. Had she just wanted to say her name? Of course he was talking about Faith.

"Faith," Anya repeated her eyes narrowed. "I hate her. Right? I hate her. I hate a lot of people but I really hate her."

Xander smiled at the kids and tried to act professional for their parents. It was kinda crazy that so many people wanted icecream in February, but whatever. He took their money anways. He handed the last little boy a double scoop chocolate cone and then he wiped his hands on his shirt. "Have you kicked her ass yet?"

Buffy shook her head. "No," she said, because it was true. She hadn't kicked Faith's ass. She'd seen her naked.. And longed to squeeze her ass.. But she hadn't actually kicked it. Her mouth felt kinda dry. "I haven't. Have you.. Have you seen her?"

He shook his head. "No, not yet. Kinda don't want to either. Because, hello, murderer. And me? Wearing a little red and white striped vest, servin' icecream to children in a vampire town. Not exactly the prime example of fightin' supremecy or anything."

"She might not be bad anymore," Buffy said, her voice kinda small. "I mean she might have woken up with a whole new mindset. She might have changed."

"Changed?" Xander laughed. "You hit your head Buff? She's a psycho! There's nothing good about her!"

"And she slept with Xander! She must be crazy!" Anya stuck in.

Xander turned and looked at her. "I guess you mean that in the nicest of ways?" He shook his head. "Anyways, I just don't think she'll be running around trying to hug people." He recognized the hurt in his friend's eyes. "But what do I know? Once again, I'm wearing a red and white striped vest and serving icecream to children in a vampire town."

"Yeah," the slayer nodded. "I mean you're right. She did make some bad choices. But a lot of that was my fault." She looked down the street, toward Faith's apartment. "I don't think a lot of the people that live here have the best intentions. But she's.. A slayer, you know?" She set her chin. "And when I find her.." Her eyes flashed over Xander's and Anya's faces, "She's my responsibility. I'm going to be the one that decides what happens. No one else."

The shaggy brown-haired guy's eyes widened. "Hey, I'm all for you makin' the calls. I'm back-up boy. I'm the Robin to your Bat Buffy. You do what you have to do Buff. I trust you."

Buffy took a deep breath. "Thanks Xand," she smiled at him. Maybe it wouldn't go so bad with him. I mean he'd basically just condemned Faith to a life of crime, but.. He'd also agreed to not stand in her way Buffy way when it came to choosing what to do. Not that the blonde slayer had any idea what that would be. "I'm gonna get going. I really just want to run. Between Adam and the Initiative mess and now Faith.. I'm stressed."

"You should have sex," Anya suggested. "When Xander and I get stressed out. Or when we get horny.. We just have sex." She smiled. "And everything is good. He is very good in bed. We have sex a lot."

Xander blushed a little and rubbed the hair on his head. "Uh, sorry Buffy.'

Buffy couldn't blame Anya for having sex on the brain, because at the moment, Buffy was in the same position. Except it wasn't with Xander. Noooooo. But Faith.. She was so fiiiine. Had Buffy just thought that? That Faith was fine? She huffed. "It's okay. See you guys." She started running again, towards the apartments. Luckily the ice-cream truck was going the opposite direction.

"No more distractions," Buffy said to herself, "I gotta get her stuff, and then go back.. She's waiting for me." She sighed. "MOM'S waiting for me."

She got to the parking lot outside of Faiths's apartment pretty fast. She just wanted to get it over with. There was no one around. Not even any cars in the parking lot. The place looked kinda abandoned actually, and that seemed kinda suspicious to Buffy. Buffy made her way to Faith's door, kicking in any doors that stood in her way. But at the actual door to the apartment, the slayer put her hand on the doorknob and then popped the lock with her wrist. The memories hit her lit a brick wall.

"God," Buffy mouthed, walking around all the open boxes that Faith had been living out of. There were weapons and clothing strewn all over the floor, and Buffy saw the crossbow that Faith had shot Angel with near the window. She picked it up and ran her hands over it. She felt sort of sour and she dropped it on Faith's unmade bed and grabbed an empty duffel out of the corner and started filling it up with articles of clothing. She grabbed pants and shirts and jackets and shoved them all in. There was a cardboard box full of panties and bras and she emptied the entire thing into the bag too.

She sat the duffel bag down and wandered around looking at the other stuff sitting around. There were empty bottles of alcohol. And full ones too, behind the empty ones. She picked one of the bottles up- an expensive looking sort of clear alcohol. She let it slosh around for a minute and then sat it back down. She ran her fingers along the dust on the top of Faith's furniture. She picked up various weapons, inspected them, then laid them back down. She picked up sketch book on the nightstand and flipped it open. It was filled with Faith's handwriting.

_"I'm sorry,"_ the first page said, over and over and over and over again. _"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry!"_ Buffy flipped through the pages slowly.

Page two said, _"God, is this all there is?"_ There was an empty room drawn below, shaded with the same black ink-pen that Faith had used to write with. There was nothing in the room.

Every page had something written or drawn on it. Some of the quotes seemed almost to be poetry. There were a lot of sketches of Faith's weapons too, many of them of the knife that Buffy had stabbed her with. And a few of the crossbow she'd used on Angel. There were even a few long swords. The attention to detail was impeccable. Buffy could barely look away from the pages. She flipped until she got to some more writing.

_"Golden girl thinks she's tough,"_ Buffy read, and felt her heart speed up, _"But it doesn't matter. There's no fightin' what the mayor has in store. Wish it could be different, really. I'm not lookin' to end her. Kinda wanna keep her around. I just think it'd be nice if she lost everyone she loves. And then when it's just me and her.. B, will realize what it means to share a burden. Supposed to be there for me! Fuck her! Too obsessed with her fuckin vampire to even care that I was here, watchin' her back. She'll notice now. Everyone will."_

There was a picture of Buffy's face drawn on the next page. It was beautiful. She was smiling, and her hair was pulled halfway up. There wasn't an inch of Buffy's face that Faith had drawn incorrectly. And she'd done it all with ink-pen. Buffy touched the drawing and ran her hands along the lines of it. She flipped the page. The rest of the book was sketches of her. Laughing, crying, smiling, fighting.. They were all immaculate. And on the last page, under a photo of Buffy standing alone, her arms at her side, a look of pure desolation on her face, Faith had written, _"I can't get out now. Mayor owns me. Gotta do what he says. Big day heading up. Hope you get to me before he does. Feel like shit sittin over here workin for him and spendin all my time thinkin about you. Rather die your bitch than his meal."_ And then under that, written alone, set off from the other font, she had written, _"I'm sorry Buffy. I'd take it all back now. But I can't. It's the way it's gotta be. Miles to go. Can't stop now."_

Buffy's eyes stung and she started crying so hard she could barely see. She wiped her eyes with her palms and rubbed all the make-up off. Through tears, she looked up at the balcony that had been the setting of she and Faith's final battle. For a second, she was sure she would throw up. But then she stood, felt the sketchbook heavy in her lap slide to the floor and fall open. The first sketch of Buffy on the pages looked up at her. That smile. Buffy hadn't remembered ever smiling like that around Faith.. But apparently she had.. The detailed expression Faith had reflected on the page was so exact that it would have been impossible to create from imagination.

She'd been there. Every second Buffy was worrying about the others, and cooing over Angel.. Faith was there, watching. Even when she was fighting Buffy.. She was still absolutely in love with her.


	16. Chapter 16

**Faith, Hope & Revelations**

Chapter 16

Faith had originally wanted to wait until Buffy got her clothes to go downstairs, but the smell wafting up from the kitchen smelt so damn good. She tightened the string of the robe she was wearing and slowly made her way down the stairs. Her head was fuzzy, and her stomach was growling. The kitchen was like Heaven, it smelt so good. She stumbled onto the linoleum and said, "God, that smells great."

Joyce turned around and smiled politely. She still felt a little bit afraid around the girl. Hadn't she just been trying to kill Buffy? And now her daughter was in love with her and she was sleeping upstairs in Buffy's old room. It was a lot to get used to. "It's spicy chicken and rice soup. I didn't think you should eat anything too solid after being.. in a coma for so long."

Faith shrugged. "Hey, I'd eat dirt right about now, honestly."

"Well," Buffy's mom smiled again and went to the cabinet to get out three bowls. "Would you like me to serve yours or..?" She held out the bowl and Faith grabbed it quickly.

"Nah, but thanks. I got it." She went up to the stove and spooned out food until the bowl was practically overflowing. Then she carried it in shakey hands to the table. "Spoons?"

Joyce got her one and watched the girl scarf down the entire bowl in less than a minute. As soon as she swallowed, she had another spoonful in her mouth. It made Buffy's mom's heart hurt. She got the pot off the stove and filled up the bowl right there. Then she got a glass out of the cabinet and filled it with icewater. It was what Faith needed anyways- to be hydrated and full.

"Do you want more?" Joyce offered, as soon as Faith had finished the second bowl. She hadn't made that much, but she was fine with giving the entire pot to Faith if she needed it. She could eat a Campbell's soup or something, and so could Buffy. The poor girl was half starved.

Faith shook her head. She gulped her water. "Nah. I'm okay." She smiled at Joyce. "It's really nice of you though." She was trying to be nice, and so she was using pretty much all of her manners that she had.

Joyce sat the pot back on the stove and turned the burner off. She took Faith's bowl to the sink and rinsed it out. "Do you mind if I ask you a few questions?" she said, and leaned against the counter.

The brunette slayer knew it was coming. Ms. Summers was a nice lady, but Faith had tried to kill her daughter. And pretty much everyone else in town all at once, with the help of the ginormous worm shaped Mayor. Just thinkin' about it had Faith's heart pounding again. If she'd had any way out of it in the end, she woulda taken it. But once she joined forces with the mayor, it was pretty much eat or be eaten. In all actuality, it had been Buffy who had saved her. If the blonde hadn't stabbed her, she would have still been on the dark side. But in trying to kill Faith.. Buffy had saved her.

"Go ahead," she told Joyce, because she didn't have anything to hide anymore. It was all out in the open and she was ready to deal with it.

"Why is it that no one has come looking for you? And that you're able to stay here with us?"

Faith swallowed. "I guess you guys are it. The people that'd come lookin' for me is Buffy and her gang. And she's their leader. If she's hidin' me, they'll never find out."

"Don't you have a family somewhere?"

The brunette shook her head. "No."

Joyce's face softened. "You got involved in some bad activity a few months ago... How can I be sure you're not going to turn around and make those same bad choices?" She felt silly asking something so serious to a girl sitting at her kitchen table wearing nothing but a robe. "I have to protect my daughter."

"I need way more protectin' than she does," Faith assured her. "I'm..." She licked her lips. They were dry again. She tapped her fingers on her glass. All the water was gone, and the ice clinked together. "I'm not bad." She shook her head. She didn't know what exactly she was trying to say. "I'm sorry about what I did."

"Yes," Joyce nodded. "Yes, I'm sure you are. I am just afraid you'll feel better and... And be bad again. Buffy is... My daughter and I'm going to protect her."

"I know," Faith said. "I don't blame ya. I really don't. I'll go if you want me to. Just as soon as B.. Buffy.. Brings me some clothes."

"I wouldn't want you to leave. Where would you go?"

"My apartment is still my apartment. It's rent free forever. Or at least that's what the mayor had said. Or, if you don't trust me livin' nearby, I could hoof it and get outta Sunny D. Maybe outta California all together. Head out East. Or maybe go up North. I don't know."

"I think that would break my daughter's heart," Ms. Summers said. "I don't want you to go."

Faith got up from the table. She felt like maybe she should lay down again. All the sleeping was really getting on her nerves, and she was itching to do something. But of course, she knew she couldn't. "I don't wanna go, Ms. Summers," she admitted. "Buffy's probably the only person in the world that I care about."

Joyce's heart just ached when she heard that. She walked across the kitchen and hugged Faith to her. The brunette was once again stuck in a moment that she didn't know how to react to. She stood awkwardly with Buffy's mom's arms around her shoulders and then she just gave in and hugged the woman back. It kinda felt alright. Faith wasn't a hugger. But then she didn't usually have anyone to hug.. So it worked out okay.

But now, she couldn't stop hugging Joyce. She just hugged her and hugged her and hugged her. And when they finally pulled apart, she didn't have anything to say.

"You can stay as long as you want," Joyce said, "Honestly, I like the company. I don't see Buffy that much anymore."

Faith blinked. So Buffy hadn't been coming home? Why was that? She nodded. "Thank you. Really." She backed out of the kitchen. "I'm.. I'm gonna wait for Buffy upstairs, 'kay?"

It was obvious to Joyce, at least, that Faith was craving more than just food and water. She needed nurturing, and love. And if no one else was going to give her that.. She would just have to do it herself. If someone had been there for the girl before, she may have never turned bad.

Joyce decided that she would ensure Faith's sanity by providing her with the home she so desperately needed in the past.


End file.
